Attack of the Savage Siri

Siri was mad. Her loyal servants had betrayed her, hacking into her band account and taking all of her money from her savings account, which was exactly five dollars and fifty-six cents. At least it wasn’t a million. Siri just happened to be in a “We Rent Assassins” store. She was trying to rent some assassins to murder her servants, since they went evil. “Kevin Bobby Root” Siri scrawled in nasty hand-writing in the box that you put the name of your victims inside. In the next page, she wrote the name of her doctor, her librarian, and her other servant, Retell Doat Evans. She gave the stapled together pages to Nobby, an assassin that had murdered about fifty people. “When will they be assassinated?” she asked. Nobby answered. “Oh, they won’t be murdered, you have to pay first,” Siri’s eyes popped out. Almost literally. Her head turned red. “YOU WILL MURDER THEM NOW OR NEVER!” she screamed, breaking glass windows and doors. Nobby didn’t even look afraid. “I’m afraid I’ll have to choose never,” Siri’s forehead turned deep purple. She looked like an eggplant about to burst. She jumped on the counter, unsheathed her fearsome five-inch-long nails, sharpened sharper than a pencil, and stabbed them into Nobby, who screamed like a bag of cats getting sacked with a baseball bat. Siri yanked out her nails from Nobby’s thigh, and blood spurted all over the floor. Security was alerted, but Siri just stabbed her nails into them again and again, until some guards were completely still. Should’ve put a PG-13 warning on here >:D. Siri was completely savage now, like a  cornered jungle animal. She escaped from the store crawling like a crab, stabbing anyone who laughed at her blood stained teeth, and her long nails encrusted with blood. Siri crawled back to her house, but found it in flames. Kevin Bobby Root had probably did the deed himself. Siri howled in outrage, and leaped into the flames, which didn’t even burn her clothes. Even the flames were frightened of Siri. Siri spotted Kevin with a flame thrower burning her laundry, and she sped toward him, and pierced his stomach with her nails, and bit his fingers off, literally. Kevin died a horrid death. And Siri was happy.

Advertisements

Kiara De Bum

There once lived a stingy brat named Kiara. Everyday, as soon as he opened his eyes, he screamed, “WHATS FOR BREAKFAST?” The scream was louder than 500 decibels, and was so high pitched, that even dogs couldn’t hear. Every servant in the household  was deaf, thanks to over ten years of Kiara screaming in the morning. They knew by Kiara banging on the floor that he was awake and was hungry. They secretly called him Hungry Kiara behind his back. Every day, Kiara would eat all of the food in the house, and wouldn’t even feed his “slaves” (That’s what he called his loyal servants). They had to sneak out of the house to the local restaurant, and they would stay there until the manager of the fast food store told them that he could hear high pitched screaming from a house a block away. Then the servants had to run over to Kiara’s “mansion”, which was really a couple of rags held up by some sticks. Kiara took up half of the house. The servants where the ones who had to support the whole “mansion”. They had to pay the homeless bill, a bill for homeless people that had shacks in a parking lot.

One day, a thirteen year old boy named Sully was flying his DJI Mavic Pro above the parking lot. He had earned $999 dollars selling food downtown, and bought the drone himself. The drone could go more than fifty miles an hour, and Sully raced people with his drone all the time, winning lots of money, both for taking pictures, and for racing other people’s drones. Sully turned the camera downwards, and saw shack in the middle a parking lot held up by sticks. There were about three people running around it, being chased, not even by a human, but a huge yellow beach ball. No wait, it was a human, but it was so heavy, the thing was bouncing around like a real beach ball, chasing the peoples. “TRAITORS!” It shouted. Sully accidentally deployed his anti-gun-missiles, which he only used if people were trying to shoot down his drone. It wasn’t his fault. It was the loudness of the scream that scared him. Four missiles popped out of the drones bottom, and fired up. They shot out of there holsters and aimed at the fat waddling heap of blubber. They exploded in its face, spraying blubber and fat everywhere. There was not even any blood, just yellow stuff flying through the air. The servants spotted Sully, and jogged over. “Thank you very much! You have killed our worst enemy, and now we are free humans!” Sully was so quizzical, he almost didn’t notice when the drone almost crashed into a light pole. He went home, found out that his drone had been recording the whole scene, and then put the video on youtube for everyone to see. It become the top grossing video’s of all time, but didn’t make any money.