Diary of an Alien

Chapter Eight




It was a raining day, but I didn’t hear a peep because I was safely under-water. We had crashed into a coral reef, the worst thing that could ever happen to me, and it was pitch dark in my palace. I was so sad. Why had we crashed? But there was no time to blame, we had to get out of here because the fuel supply was running out fast, and with no fuel, we couldn’t cook our food. We had to get out of here. And fast.

“How are we going to get out?” Luci asked me one morning. “Well, we could deploy the emergency rocket and get inside, but it will be too risky because I don’t know how long it will last in space.”

Luci lit up like a light-bulb. “We can take the chances! I’d rather be stuck in space than under-water!” Luci hugged me, and raced off. I had better get packing. Once Luci had an idea, there was no stopping her. I started cramming all of my clothes, belongings, and money (I had a LOT of money) in my collapsible suitcase, so that it didn’t take up that much space.

Luci was really lucky. She didn’t have anything to pack except her toothbrush, a pair of clothes, some money, and her space-suit. I also packed some cat-food for Tiger. I packed everything I needed, which was a bunch of stuff. And then we were ready to leave.




Diary of an Alien

Chapter Seven



When I woke up, Luci was standing over me. I jumped up and screamed, because she was holding a knife. “What are you doing?!” I peeked up, but it was only a cooking knife. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Luci blushed, for about the hundredth time. “Well what are you doing in my bedroom?”

“I brought you breakfast,” Luci clapped, and Prup came up holding a basket of bread, scrambled eggs, waffles (my favorite), and syrup. “Oh thanks!” I got up from the blanket on my bed and walked over. I stuffed my mouth with some croissants and scrambled eggs. I shooed Luci and Prup out of my bedroom and got dressed in my day-time clothes. Then I came out too eat the rest of my breakfast. Then I went to the control room, where Zwinky was looking at the radar. “Good morning sir Kevin,” he beeped. Then he pointed to the radar again. “It appears that the Medusas are going to attack any minute!” I groaned again. “Seriously? Secure all loose furniture and stuff, we have to get out of here because we don’t have a lot of gas left,” “Okay sir.”

Zwinky sped out of the control room and I stuffed another croissant into my mouth. Luci appeared right next to me. She was wearing a blue turtleneck and skinny jeans. “Good morning!” She too looked at the radar. “Looks like we are going to have to fight again!”

“We aren’t, the sub doesn’t have enough gas, and we can’t withstand another attack; My palace is toast,” I was really sad. My sub had lasted me from when I was two ‘till now. I hated breaking it. “Furniture secured!” Zwinky chirped, coming back into view. “Good, now let’s get out of here.”

I turned up the throttle and the sub blasted forward, its super-sonic underwater boosters almost made my head crack off of my neck. “Buckle up everybody!” I shouted, my checks flapping with the G-forces.

Then, we crashed.


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Six



I marveled at all of the awesome statues that the King had placed in the hallway of the palace. “This is amazing,” breathed Luci. I wish I had a hundred eyes.

I craned my neck to see an aquarium of real live piranhas. “Yikes!” Luci jumped back and continued walking. “Where do you think the King lives?” she asked. “I have no idea,” I answered. Up ahead, there was a huge throne, and something, or someone was sitting in. “There he goes,” I whispered to Luci. “Put on your disguises!” I slipped the hood over my head so you couldn’t see my eyes and face. Luci put a mask on.

We both walked up to the King. I prepared my laser gun. It started to warm up on my wrist. “Get ready,”

“Now!” I ran at the King, who seemed to be asleep. I sliced upward with my laser and his head rolled off his head. “Ewww!” Luci covered her eyes. Then, I realized that there wasn’t any blood! I examined the head carefully, and realized that the King had set us up! “Put your hands up,” said a cold voice from behind me. “Luci, do what he says,” I hissed. How could I have fallen for the trick?

I slowly turned around, and faced the King. He was wearing his mask, as usual, because he was to cowardly to show his real ugly face. “Well well, who do I have here?” the King patted his huge belly. “What do you think?” I punched him in the face, and the King reeled backwards, blood pouring down from his nose. Serves him right for capturing me for no reason at all. “That’s what you get,” I punch him again. “Stop him!” The King screamed. My laser gun was already heated up. The King’s nose bled like a river. I was really violent. I turned on the laser gun and sliced one of the King’s arms off. “Repreat!” The King could hardly talk with blood all over his mouth. The guards and the King ran off. I picked up the King’s arm with a glove on. Luci was still covering her eyes. “You are really violent,” She opened her eyes, and I showed her the arm. She fainted, and I had to carry Luci back to the sub, where Tiger, Zwinky, and Prup cheered me for scaring the King off. The whole fight had been recorded on TV. I rewinded to the part where I had chopped off the arm of the King. I had left the arm in the palace, so the authorizes could do whatever they wanted to it.

As for me, I was asleep. Hopefully, the King would never bother us again.


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Five



We had arrived at the seaport in Beastopoliz, where the rude King lived. Beastopoliz was crammed with all sorts of alien creatures, and most of them were not nice. That’s why me and Luci had to wear alien disguises, so we would blend in with the alien crowd. “Do you really think this will work?” Luci whispered into my ear when we were walking in the street leading to the palace of the King. “I hope so,” I whispered back.

The palace was huge as we passed some panhandlers (Yes, aliens are poor) and entered the courtyard of the King. “Get your weapons ready!” I warned Luci. I myself turned on my weapon (The high-tech grappling hook) and pulled my shirt sleeve down over it so no one could see it, then we walked into the building.


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Five




Luci was manning the controls. I had taught her the basics of controlling a submarine, and she quickly got the hang of it. So while Luci was having the fun, I was in bed sleeping.

Tiger was sleeping under my head like a really soft, really furry pillow. Just then, the whole palace jerked forward as if it had bumped into something hard. I immediately woke up and slipped into my day time clothes as fast as lightning. I jumped into my shoes and ran back to the control room. “What’s wrong?” I whirled around to find that Luci had accidently pushed the throttle to hard. Luci looked at me. “Sorry,” Luci petted Tiger, who had just padded into the room. “Okay, I’ll take over,” I told her. “Thanks!” Luci raced into her room, leaving me tired, hungry, and at the control of my palace.

“What’s for breakfast?” Luci kept on pestering me like a machine gun. “I don’t know! Why don’t you make it?!”

“Ugh fine!”

Luci stormed off. I sighed. She wanted so bad to go on land, find the King, and kill him dead. But I knew we couldn’t. It would be suicide, because the King was way stronger on land; He could kill us in a blink of an eye. I heard Luci making Prup cook breakfast. I was really hungry too, but I couldn’t leave the controls.

“Zwinky!” I shouted. Zwinky appeared right next to me. “Can you take over?”

“Yes sir Kevin!”

I loved Zwinky. He was very faithful. I left the control room in search of food. I came across the dining table, where Prup was scrambling some egg and toasting bread. “Hello,” I said. Luci came out of the cupboards, arms full of pastries, vegetables, and fruits.

“What’s for breakfast?” I asked her.


“What type? Oh never mind,” I buttered a piece of toast and chomped down. “Mmmm. It’s delicious,” Prup always cooks my meals, and even though he was supposed to be cleaning up Tiger’s mess, he made excellent food. “I hope it is! I used to be a chef, so I cook like crazy,” Luci responded. She heated up a pot of boiling water, dumped some veggies inside, and stirred. Delicious aromas started rising up from the pot. I always drooled on my plate of eggs. “Ha! I knew you were hungry! You’ll love my food!” Luci laughed like a maniac. And I finished my eggs. Luci then opened some packets of ramen noodles and stirred them into the soup. I did drool, and Luci laughed even more.

Finally, after all the torture I had endured waiting for the food to be finished, it was ready. Luci spooned us each a bowl of noodles, and I gobbled them up as fast as I possibly could. Then I fell asleep at the table. The food was that good.


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Four

I woke up in complete darkness. The only thing I remembered was that the sub had been captured by the King’s army, and I was probably back in his dungeon. I rubbed my eyes to get all of the stars out. “Hello?” My voice echoed throughout the cave like jail. I hated the King. What had I done? My hand reached into my pocket, where I found the grappling hook was still there. I smiled. This grappling hook was the only thing that I needed to escape. It had a bunch of tools that I still haven’t told you about; It’s probably too dangerous. But I’ll tell you. So the first tool was the grappling hook (duh), the second tool was the laser gun (Shoots deathly lasers), the third was the fan (If I ever got too hot in combat), the fourth was a hologram TV (Its kind of like a GPS, but its way cooler), and the fifth was a couple of super-sharp knifes that could cut through anything. You heard me. Anything.
So I slipped the nifty gadget on my wrist and turn on the flashlight. The bright blueish light illuminated the whole room. I almost jumped out of my spiked metal-toed boots! There were a couple of people laying around the whole room, and they weren’t moving. The King had done this. I just knew. I had to save them! The first person was a girl about my age (twelve) I helped her up and gave her some water. “Thank you so much,” she thanked me, and I gave her the rest of my water. I had a bunch more in my backpack. I did that to the rest of the people around, who thanked me a lot for saving their lives. I would get the King back.

            One of the men there, showed me the only secret exit, but it had been blocked off with bricks. “I can cut through it easy,” I told him. I walked over to the exit, and turned on my laser gun. I cut through the bricks like a hot knife through butter, and ushered all of the people out. Hopefully, they would escape and go back to their families.

The girl who I had saved first had no family. She was an orphan, and she wanted to help me kill the King. “Please?!” She pleaded. “Fine,” I agreed, and she followed me out of the dungeon. “By the way, what is your name?” I asked. “Oh, its Luci,”

“My name is Kevin,” I responded. “Nice meeting you here.” Luci blushed. “Hey it’s not my fault, the King is the one who jailed me for living on the street!”

“Okay fine, let’s get back to my sub,” I said. I walked down the red brick road, and Luci followed me, asking me questions about how I managed my palace and my cat Tiger and Zwinky. Luckily, when I got to the sea port, my sub was there. The King keeps all of his stolen possessions here, because he has nowhere else to keep them. I whistled twinkle twinkle little star, and the door to my sub opened. “That’s really cool!” Luci told me. It really was; the door only opens at my voice, but I can whistle too.

“Go go, get in!” I pushed Luci inside, and followed her inside. The door slowly slide shut behind us. As soon as I walked in, I saw Zwinky manning the control stick. The sub started to move and pick up speed as it sped away from the dock. “Good job Zwinky!” I patted him on the back, and introduced him to Luci. Then Tiger popped up right beside me, still wearing his helmet. “Awww! What a cute cat!” Luci purred. “Careful,” I warned. “Tiger can hear your insults,” Tiger growled, but it was only a playful one. “Come on Luci, let me show you where you are going to sleep,”


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Three

The next day was sunny. Light penetrated through the super-strong glass in my room, and I got up. Zwinky and Tiger were playing tag in the control room, and I stopped them before Zwinky could catch Tiger. “Let’s surface,” I told Zwinky. Our fuel was running low, and we needed to restock on food.

But the only place where we could get human food was in Beastopoliz, the worst place on Trion 69. We were in the middle of Oceanaris, and it would take about a day to travel to Beastopoliz. We could use the racing engine that I had collected in a bet, but it was too risky; the sub couldn’t handle that much speed. I looked at the gas gauge. Holy moly! There was only three hours before we ran out! “Zwinky! Prepare the racing engine!” I shouted at him. Zwinky immediately stopped petting Tiger and sped out of the control room. I saw him coming back with the small but powerful engine. “Attach it to the back of the sub, and set the speed to high.” I ran back to my room and got dressed.

A minute later, I walked back to the control room, where Zwinky was busy calibrating the engine and sub for high-speed. “Close all the windows and secure all loose furniture!” Zwinky sped off again, and I finished the calibration. Tiger, who was watching me the whole time, meowed, and I put a cat helmet on him. Tiger loves it. Just then, Zwinky came back. “All loose furniture down!” “Great.”

I slowly pushed the throttle to its maximum speed, and I felt the sub responding to my touch. The whole palace jerked forward at an enormous speed, and my cheeks flapped like I was in a roller-coaster. “Ahhh!!” Tiger flew backward and hit the control door. Even Zwinky’s magnetic wheels couldn’t hold him to the ground at this much speed. I strapped myself down to the leather chair and put Tiger on my lap. Then the lights went out. I quickly turned on the emergency lights and glanced at the GPS. Yes. This sub has on. We were being chased! By my worst enemy of all: The King and his Army. Let me tell you the short story. One day, I was minding my own business, when the King (No one knows his name) came along and jailed me. For no good reason! So I escaped, and that angered him even more. I’ve been hiding from him even since. He had probably jammed our electricity signal. Yep. Sure enough, I saw a little machine attached to the side of the control window. It was beeping. It’s a bomb! “Zwinky!” I yelled as loud as I could. Zwinky quickly came to my side, and I pointed out of the bomb. “Get it off!” I narrowly avoided colliding with a high coral reef, while Zwinky climbed out of the window and grabbed the bomb, right before it exploded.


Diary of an Alien

Chapter Two

Okay, let me get started with the story. You’ve probably already read about my palace (The secret submarine), My robots Zwinky and Prup, my Toyger Tiger, my weaponry stash, my really hi-tech grappling hook, and my scuba-gear. If you’ve read the last chapter, you’ve probably heard of all that.

It was May 21, 2091. It probably seems like the distant future for you earthlings, but time passed very quickly on Trion 69. I was in my palace, neatening up my bed. I didn’t have a house in Oceanaris, because every day, fish would attack, and I would have to either retreat or fight, but it was easier to fight back, so we could have a delicious lunch. I would usually boil some Ramen Noodles for me and cook eat the fish (cooked of course) with the noodles. It was always enjoyable, and I never got bored or tired of it.

Just then, the alarm beeped. I dropped the blanket and raced into the hallway. I scrambled into my rubber shoes and helped me run faster and sped into the control room, where Zwinky was awaiting my command. “What is it this time?” I asked him. “Zwinky craned his neck at the radar, which showed our sub in the middle of the screen and five oval shaped objects quickly surrounding us. “It’s the Medusas again,” Zwinky responded, his eyes blinked. “Uggh,” I groaned. The Medusas were a couple of Hammer-head sharks that constantly tormented us. “Harpoon them all,” I sighed. Zwinky’s lights blinked in response, and he pushed a button on the dashboard.

I heard the familiar whirring of the Harpoon Gun coming out of the top of the hatch in the protanium roof of the submarine. “I’ll do it this time,” I picked up Zwinky and got him out of the leather seat. There was a butt mark in the chair from Zwinky sitting there so long. I plopped myself down in the seat and grabbed the adjuster lever on the bottom of the seat. I pulled upward, and a metal tube the exact size of my seat rose up from the floor. It surrounded me like armor, in case the fish attacked the sub and succeeded, I would be protected long enough for me and Tiger to escape. I pulled on headsets that had appeared from nowhere.  “Zwinky, turn on the magnetic shields,” I spoke into the microphone. “Roger Kelvin,” Zwinky spoke back.

Every time the Medusa’s attacked us, I would harpoon all of them, and then their brothers would come after us again and attack us again. It was a never-ending cycle. I reached into the ceiling and grabbed the periscope aimer. I lifted it over my eyes, and immediately saw water. I turned around, and saw five figures floating in the water. Yep. They were Medusas. I aimed the Harpoon Gun at the first one and fired. Now you’re probably thinking: “Kelvin, why the heck would you kill a hammerhead shark! They are endangered!” But no. The Medusas were the most powerful fish clan in Oceanaris, and Hammerhead Sharks are the most common species of fish in the world. The harpoon shot toward the creature and it screamed in pain as the point buried itself in its skin. But I felt no mercy. These monsters had almost killed me one time, and I was going to get my revenge. I press the return button and the Medusa got dragged into the butchery, where machine would gut it and clean it so I could eat it. I did the same thing to the rest of the Medusas, and when I was done, the tube slid back into the ground and I was done with my mission.


Diary of an Alien.

Chapter One

Now, If you’re reading this, I know you’re thinking: “Diary of an Alien? What a cool name! I’m going to read this book!” But let me tell you. This is not a book. This is a real story. It happened, and if you want to stay sane, I would suggest that you put down this book right now and pretend you have never read these words.

Now I know you’re just going to keep on reading and not even listen to that paragraph above,  so let me continue and not waste my breath.

Okay. Let me tell the truth. I am not an alien. I’m a human, though I’m considered an alien where I live.  I just wrote that title to attract more people. But if it didn’t have that title, people would be running away from the horrors in this book. Now back to the story. I live on the planet Trion 69. You’ve probably heard of it in the other “book”, Trion 69. For a quick review, there are four continents. Aleoi, Beastopoliz, Oceanaris, and Felioae. I lived in Oceanaris, where everyone there was a fish. I had to either swim around in my protanium scuba-gear, or drive my protanium sub. Protanium was a super-strong and super-light metal, that even the fish that lived in Oceanaris couldn’t bite through. That’s why I use it to swim around with in. My air tanks in the scuba-gear can last about a day, and it has water-proof jet engines attached to my back, so I could get around really quickly if I was ever in danger. Also, my submarine, which is about as big as a a two story house (seems huge, but is actually small compared to the Oceanaris subs) can last about a year without air or fuel. My sub (I call it my palace) has ten rooms inside of it. The first one is the command room, where my faithful robot Zwinky controls the palace and is always sitting on the leather seat. The second room is the pool room. Since the water’s inside Oceanaris are like poison to humans, you can’t swim in it. So if Zwinky accidentally turns on the heat, and its an oven in my palace, I can just hop in the water and wait until the AC kicks in. The third room is my room, and the fourth room is my bathroom. To bad I can’t bathe in the pool. It has chlorine in it. The fifth room is where my Toyger cat lives. His name is  Tiger. Coincidence right? Tiger loves to swim in the pool and catch fish. Luckily, my other robot named PRUR (I call him Prup) cleans up Tiger’s mess of fish guts and scales and other nasty stuff. Anyway, the sixth room is the most amazing in the whole sub. It has a bunch of computers where I can play video games, plus a water-slide that goes into the pool room. The seventh room is for storage, and so if the eighth, but the ninth room is the engine room, which is very interesting for me. The tenth is the weaponry room, where I keep all of my weapons. There are a couple of under-water harpoon guns on the top and bottom of my palace, and whenever there is a fish attack, I tell Zwinky to just harpoon them all, then me and Tiger can eat them in a soup. My favorite weapon is the laser-gun. You attach it too your arm, and whenever you need to shoot, you just clench your fists and it’ll shoot a laser at your enemy. There is also a grappling hook, so if you need to get up a steep wall, you just press a button, and the hole will shoot out a rope, like Bat-man, and then it attaches itself to the wall, and then press another button, and it will pull you up.