Inky Bum was a homey-cat from the streets. Literally. She lived on the streets like a bum, and wore clothes like one too. Literally. She lived on the streets like a bum, and wore clothes like one too. Every day, Inky Bum would wake up from her bed on the rooftop of a McDonald’s fast food restaurant, and before it opened, she would sneak down its chimney like exhaust pipe for the deep fryer, and steal a huge great big bucket of still warm fries, and couple of strawberry milk shakes, and ten Fillet O’ Fishes, because Inky Bum’s actually a cat. Not even the security cameras would notice a small black Bum of a cat sneaking around stealing food. After that, Inky Bum would walk out the front door, triggering an alarm. Inky would sprint away, probably into a empty house, and eat her fill, feeding the rest of the fries and Fish Fillet’s to her bird friends, Bob and Joe, enormous pigeons that played as extras in West Side Story. After Bob and Joe had finished eating Inky’s leftovers, they would walk/fly over to Burger King for lunch. It was still five in the morning, so none of the stores were open. Inky would have Bob and Joe grab her, and fly her up to the roof of burger king, and Inky would shimmy down the fryer exhaust pipe, steal a bunch of two layer burgers, more fries, and some extra stuff for Bob and Joe. Then she would walk out the front door, and Bob and Joe would fly Inky Bum away. After they had finished eating, Bob and Joe would fly Inky to Rally’s, famous for their awesome french fries. Inky would steal three buckets of fries, walk out the front door, and Bob and Joe would fly her away. At the end of the day, they were full like a water balloon. Bob and Joe would fly away to their shack outside a meat packing building, and Inky would finish off the rest of her french fries, leaving some for a midnight snack.
There once lived a stingy brat named Kiara. Everyday, as soon as he opened his eyes, he screamed, “WHATS FOR BREAKFAST?” The scream was louder than 500 decibels, and was so high pitched, that even dogs couldn’t hear. Every servant in the household was deaf, thanks to over ten years of Kiara screaming in the morning. They knew by Kiara banging on the floor that he was awake and was hungry. They secretly called him Hungry Kiara behind his back. Every day, Kiara would eat all of the food in the house, and wouldn’t even feed his “slaves” (That’s what he called his loyal servants). They had to sneak out of the house to the local restaurant, and they would stay there until the manager of the fast food store told them that he could hear high pitched screaming from a house a block away. Then the servants had to run over to Kiara’s “mansion”, which was really a couple of rags held up by some sticks. Kiara took up half of the house. The servants where the ones who had to support the whole “mansion”. They had to pay the homeless bill, a bill for homeless people that had shacks in a parking lot.
One day, a thirteen year old boy named Sully was flying his DJI Mavic Pro above the parking lot. He had earned $999 dollars selling food downtown, and bought the drone himself. The drone could go more than fifty miles an hour, and Sully raced people with his drone all the time, winning lots of money, both for taking pictures, and for racing other people’s drones. Sully turned the camera downwards, and saw shack in the middle a parking lot held up by sticks. There were about three people running around it, being chased, not even by a human, but a huge yellow beach ball. No wait, it was a human, but it was so heavy, the thing was bouncing around like a real beach ball, chasing the peoples. “TRAITORS!” It shouted. Sully accidentally deployed his anti-gun-missiles, which he only used if people were trying to shoot down his drone. It wasn’t his fault. It was the loudness of the scream that scared him. Four missiles popped out of the drones bottom, and fired up. They shot out of there holsters and aimed at the fat waddling heap of blubber. They exploded in its face, spraying blubber and fat everywhere. There was not even any blood, just yellow stuff flying through the air. The servants spotted Sully, and jogged over. “Thank you very much! You have killed our worst enemy, and now we are free humans!” Sully was so quizzical, he almost didn’t notice when the drone almost crashed into a light pole. He went home, found out that his drone had been recording the whole scene, and then put the video on youtube for everyone to see. It become the top grossing video’s of all time, but didn’t make any money.
There once lived a fat, grumpy old dude named Billa. He was about fourteen years old, but he didn’t know how to read or write, much less speak like a proper human being. One time Billa went to the store to buy some pig stomachs. Billa liked to deep-fry them and stuff the disgusting things with melting ice-cream. Billa considered it a delicacy, and when people wouldn’t eat it, Billa became offended, and the person would run for his or her life, because when Billa got mad, you didn’t want to be in the same zip-code as him. Billa lived in a shack off of Marigold street, right under the old stop sign that had fallen over because Billa had gotten mad and yeah. Even the police were scared of Billa, and because he was so blubbery and jiggly and fat, bullets bounced off of him. He was virtually bullet-proof. The SWAT and other police forced had tried to overtake Billa, but Billa just opened his huge mouth and swallowed the poor SWAT team whole. After a while, the police had lost more than a thousand cops that died fighting Billa, and they built a unbreakable fence around where Billa lived, but Billa had just ran into the fence, and caused a riot in the streets. Eventually, the police had learned never to mess with Billa, or the results were brutal. Every time Billa walked down the street, people locked their reinforced steel doors with a couple of metal dead-locks, and crawled to higher ground. One day, Billa was walking down the deserted street, when a flaming asteroid hit Billa right in the Bum, and the asteroid bounced right off, melting some of Billa’s blubber, and propelling Billa a couple miles forward, his face digging a trench in the road. The asteroid had bounced up so violently and fast, it disappeared, and destroyed the Moon, all thanks to Billa. On the news, someone had recorded a video of that happening, and Billa expected himself to be the savoir of the world, but instead was looked upon as a blubbery old homeless person who caused the moon to explode. “Billa you Bum!” shouted the President, as he flew over Billa in an army helicopter. The president shot a double crossed Mach 9001 bazooka at Billa, which bounced off of Billa, obliterating the street and houses around him, and destroying the helicopter which the president was in. The president died tragically, thanks to Billa. The charred bits of the helicopter slowly floated down to the ground, except the double crossed Mach 9001 bazooka. It was left unfazed. Billa grabbed it, pointed it down his gullet, and fired it. An immense fireball was formed, and before Billa could turn it around, the fireball disappeared down Billa’s throat and exploded inside of him. Billa vomited his intestines, which splattered blood on the street, and some people even recorded the destruction of Billa himself. Billa took a last breath, rasping that all he wanted was some fried pig stomach and ice-cream, and fell down, dead. People all over the world (and even the martians on the now destroyed moon) cheered, but stopped when they saw the charred bits of the president, who had “Sacrificed” himself to kill Billa. People put Billa’s intestines in a museum to honor the President, and the double crossed Mach 9001 bazooka was the most praised weapon of the century.
Well, not really… 😛
When Billa had killed the President, the moon’s fragments (which were somehow magnetic) attracted each other, and Trion 69 formed, having both a magnetic core and able to sustain human beings because of the lakes and rivers that had formed when the asteroid landed on the remaining moon fragments. Billa (the bum) had created a whole new type of planet, one that people on earth could live on. He was praised (his holy dream) all around the world, and when Apollo 91 landed on Trion 69, they developed whole colonies on the strange planet, but when Aerth (Trion 69’s moon) exploded, Trion 69 was doomed.
Positive The End.
Sandy was a huge fat coward. She lived in a cage with Shooey, who was also a coward. One time, Shooey had broken out of his cage, and pooped on the floor. He also flew out the window, but he was so dumb, he flew into the wall instead, even though the window was wide open. Then Shooey had been under house arrest for the whole week. He had been pacing around the cage like a mad-parakeet, and thinking up of a plan to destroy his human pets. But he didn’t have enough brain-power to think up a plan. Both of the parakeet’s brain was 100 times smaller than an atom, but Sandy’s brain was 100,000,000 times smaller than Shooey’s brain. “Rattle meh bones!” Shooey squawked like a coward. His pupils dilated, and he forced out a huge poop from his white bottom, which landed in the cowardly food of the birds. “Shooey, BUM YOU!!!!” Sandy squeaked. She jumped on Shooey’s back, and started pummeling him with her wings. “BUM YOU SHOOEY!!!” Sandy ranted each time her fist collided with Shooey’s head. His brain rattled around in Shooey’s head. Shooey fell from the wooden perch, and Sandy hit him one more time, and flew off. Shooey hit the ground with a sickening thud, and spit flew out of his beak. His pet owners screamed in fright when they saw poor Shooey on the ground, almost hit to death by the coward Sandy, who snickered when she saw Shooey getting carted off to the hospital.
Five weeks later, Shooey was released from the hospital, but he had metal bones now. All of Shooey’s bones had been broken, and the doctors had to replace them with steel. Now, Sandy could never break his bones. His eyes had also been replaced with glass, and his brain was 1,000 times bigger. As soon as Shooey arrived in his cage, he sought revenge. Sandy was asleep, snoring. Shooey snuck up on her, and started punching her beak as hard as hulk hits concrete. Sandy’s beak cracked in half, and Shooey started kicking her in the soft vulnerable stomach. Foam and other weird stuff started spewing from Sandy’s now broken beak. The big gut flew from Sandy’s mouth, and hit Shooey in the beak. He lapped up the blood with his crocodile tongue, and chewed on the large intestine with his razor sharp beak. Sandy died happily after, but not before she squawked: “Bum you Shooey.”