General Sasha and the army of the mutant ants.

Chapter One

A New Beginning

 

There once existed a house on 12 Primate Drive that had an infestation of tiny black ants.  There were literally everywhere, and the people who lived there had to wear plastic clothes that covered their whole body so the ants wouldn’t bite them. One day, a twelve year old who lived next door to 12 Primate Drive bought a couple of ant killers, placed them around the house, and mixed anti-freeze and hot-sauce with the liquid killer. The ants were supposed to drink it, and then bring it to their nest so the other ants would be killed. But Robert,  the boy who put the ant killers outside of 12 primate drive had made a terrible mistake.

Three days later, about 90% of the ants had been killed, but the other 10% of the ants where in pain and agony. Somehow, the anti-freeze and hot-sauce had mixed together in the ants stomach, and the ant had became a mutant! Ants doubled and tripled in size as they grew razor sharp fangs. The people who lived in 12 Primate drive jumped out of the second floor windows because they were so scared of the mutant ants mutating. One ant named Anthor, (Ant Thor!) grew so big, he broke the roof of the second floor. The house’s pet anteater tried to eat Anthor with little success, and in the end, Anthor swallowed the anteater whole, licking his bloody fangs. The rest of the ants grew as big as Anthor, and they stomped around the neighborhood, eating pet anteaters, dabbing, and stuffing themselves full with pickles. Just then, a cat by the name of Sasha ran onto the street. Sasha had the gift of telepathy with the ants. She ordered them (somehow) to stop dabbing and march in a straight line in front of Sasha. Then she ordered them to do the Gangnam style dance. Then the ants marched in line order toward the entrance of the neighborhood. Anthor had the honor of letting General Sasha stand on his hairy head. They marched out of the neighborhood, dabbing wildly, to who knows where.

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Fantastic Hooligans and where to find them.

HHH, that’s what I call college student that sag. Homey Hooligan Hoodlums. At the local University, KSU, Homeys think that they rule over everybody. The only place I am safe, is the Library, where my dad works as the librarian. I stroll along the hallways, keeping out watch for the HHH. I can also go into the break-room, where they might be snacks and candy for me to eat. I can go anywhere that my dad can go, with is really awesome. If a homey is ever following me, I can either go into his office, the break-room, (Because the staff is only allowed there) Downstairs in the basement, which is way creepy, into a work-room, where college students get there work done, (I could lock the door) and in the reference desk. At night, the HHH gather around the fountain in the middle of KSU  to party. They play music as loud as jet-engines, and dance around like an Indian Tribe. Sometimes, the police has to come to the party and stop it, because it gets way to loud. Those are Crazy Homeys. There are Calm Homeys, Excited Homeys, and Mad Homeys. The worst type of homey is the Girl Homey. They talk on their phone all day, and call your name when you are minding your own business. CAUTION!! If a Girl Homey ever sneaks up behind you, kick her in the shins and run, as fast as you can to whatever safe-place you can find before the Girl Homey calls the police and they arrest you. Make  sure, what-ever campus in the world you go to, this is their characteristics. And always wear football gear when walking on the side-walks. Homeys can run up and kick you! If they do that, then give them as much food as they can eat and sucker punch them in the gut. I promise you, that Homey will never ever bother you again. Then you run away, maybe to a library or a safe place where that homey can’t find you. Then drive to your home and wait for the Homey to calm himself down.

 

THE END