The Back-Stretcher

Today, a package came in the mail. It was huge, maybe as big as me standing up and with my arms outstretched. It was this thing called an Inversion Table. You strapped yourself to it and turned yourself upside down to stretch your back. All the blood rushes to your head, and if you stay like that for too long, your eye balls can pop with all of the pressure of the blood in your head. You stay upside down for about 3 minutes, and then slowly turn right side up. If you turn right side up to quickly, then you can pass out. I tried it for only a minute and a half, and while I was upside down, I could feel all the blood rushing to my head. Then, there was a searing pain and my eyeballs exploded inside my head. All I could see was white. People screamed, and I heard my eyeballs bounce on the floor. Just kidding 😉 After the timer rung I slowly rolled right side up, and could feel the blood slowly going back to my feet.

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Just a image from google
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Flight Simulator X

Last month, I got Flight Simulator X running! The computer had crashed, and my dad had also gotten 16gb of RAM memory for the flight simulator. The RAM had not worked when I had put it in, but one day, I tried it, and it had worked! I installed Flight Simulator X, Some addons for more realistic scenery, a Piper Arrow, and Piper Cherokee, and installed Rex 4 with Soft Clouds Enhanced Edition. It was amazing, so I had saved up the money, about thirty dollars, and bought it. I could download it a hundred times. After a couple of hours, the 7 GB program was on my computer. I set it up, installed all the textures, and went on Flight Simulator. Everything looked real. It was so smooth also. The three monitors on both sides, so I when I opened Flight Simulator, and pressed Fly Now, I could see out of the airplane like I was in a real one. If I looked at the right monitor, I could see out the right window. The same to the left, but I could see out the left window. I did the traffic pattern two times, then I switched to a Boeing 320, and flew to Cincinnati airport. The Flight Simulator was back, and more realistic than ever…

Emperor Sasha

Emperor Sasha was laying down in her throne taking a peaceful nap, when suddenly, something hit her in the eye! Sasha rolled out of the throne, and looked in her mirror. “What the” she thought. Sasha pulled out a paper airplane that had tangled itself in her ear. Sasha read the note. “We will come for you” it read. Sasha’s eyes widened. She looked at the back of the note, and noticed that one dumb animal left its paw print on it. Luckily, Sasha knew exactly who to go to.

An hour later, Sasha’s doctor had scanned the prints, and had imprisoned the “innocent” bad dog. He had confessed as soon as Sasha had unsheathed her claws, and told her that his partner that had wrote the note was Sasha’s loyal servant, M&M! Turns out, Meow Meow hated being called “M&M”! Sasha walked to M&M’s lair and found M&M baking something in the oven. It was as cake the shape of Sasha! Sasha apologized, and M&M and Sasha iced the cake and shared it together. Whew thought Sasha. Another close call. After the cake, Sasha walked back to her throne and sat back down in it. Sasha licked the frosting from her paws and continued her cat nap like nothing had happened.

 

 

Sasha twitched in her bed. She was having a horrible nightmare. It was about how some humans had invaded Cat Country, and had imprisoned all of the cats. Sasha jumped up from her bed suddenly, and jumped into her patrol car. She zoomed out of her garage and checked out the lava moat, and the 20 foot tall electric wire, which was live at about a thousand volts per square inch. If you were to touch it, you would be electrocuted, dead before you even touched the ground. Sasha tested it out by throwing a toy doll at the fence, those Barbie ones, and then a My little pony horse. They were immediately incinerated, and fell to the ground in ashes. Sasha laughed an evil laugh and drove back to her house, laughing all the way. Once or twice, Sasha tossed an extra doll out of her car, and it fell to its death three thousand feet below. When Sasha got home, she cooked herself some waffles and pancakes, even though they were the same thing. She ate, took a nice hot bath, and went straight to her palace, five hours early. Sasha sat in her throne and took out her phone and turned it on. Sasha did her daily business of calling the owl that sat on the top of the tallest tower in Cat Country. The owl hooted, which was supposed to make the sun rise, and wake everybody out of bed. Sasha witnessed the sacred event of the sun rising, recording the whole thing on her phone and sending it to Meow Meow, waking him   up. Meow Meow and Sasha ate a mouse that Meow Meow had caught about five minutes ago.

 

 

 

 

 

New iMac!

My iMac was running so slow, I couldn’t even open Firefox without having to restart the computadora. I went on eBay and sought out a new or used iMac that had 4 GB or more of RAM, and was less than three-hundred dollars. And presto! There was a used iMac 2011, for 250 dollars! I asked my dad if I could buy it, and he said wait a day to think about it. After 24 hours passed, I transferred 250 dollars into his account. Then I ordered it.

Two days later, a humongous packaged came in the mail. I knew it was the iMac because it was tall, wide, and thin. (At least the package was). I excitedly opened it, and set up the iMac. It was wayyyy wider than my old 2007 version, and had 500 GB of storage space and had 4 memory slots. I booted it up, typed in the password, which was 4321 backwards, and horayy! I had a new iMac! 😀

I sold the my old iMac to my brother himi, after I had taken all my files off of it. Then I got to work installing Adobe Creative Cloud and Adobe Animate. I also downloaded GarageBand, Firefox, and adBlocker. It was so fast, I could open a program in less than a second! There is also more awesome news! Almost two months ago, I had gotten invited to the Kentucky Book Fair! I would be able to sell all of my books, and if I sold all of them, I calculated that I would make about 800 dollars :O And that was only if I sold forty of each book. If I sold eighty of each book, I would make 1600 dollars. (Each book cost ten dollars). There was also free lunch, and a kids day where I would sign books and meet school groups. I shudder at the thought. Also, I made an account on soundcloud! The link: https://soundcloud.com/jackson-academy  . I will still be able to buy the Phantom 3 Drone, if I make 250 more dollars. I spent some of my money on the newly refurbished iMac. Today, if I finished my school-work before nine-oclock, I get to go with my mom to the airport, and fly with her in the airplane! That’s not that hard to do if I wake up early enough and start my work.

So, the end for now

Gru goes to jail

Gru was a grumpy old man. Ever since his heist at trying to steal the worlds biggest crystal, he had been serving his time in jail. And the sad part was, Gru never got the change to steal the diamond; the police knew what he was up to and met him at the bank, guarding the safeguard that contained a 3.6 million diamond. He had been escorted to jail, where he had his trail in six weeks. And now, he was cell-mates with a top-notch serial killer, who killed three butterflies, six worms, and eleven ants. Gru asked him how he had gotten in jail, and the seven year old replied that his “wooden bat had accidentely slipped out of his hand and hit the police man in the head”.

It didn’t sound like much of an accident to Gru. He told the boy he had tried to steal a 3.5 million dollar diamond, and then he ended up here. Then Gru burst into tears, bluberring about how he needed the diamond to support his family who supposedly lived on the street, and how he wanted to become a lawyer when he grew up. Gru was still blubbering about his poor family, when a guard walked in to the cell. Luckily, Seven Year Old had his wooden bat confiscated, or he would have killed the guards. One of the guards escorted Seven Year Old to the cafeteria, and the other one led Gru to the office where his lawyer waited. They talked about stuff. Ask Gru what they talked about, not me. I not in jail. After about an hour, Gru got up for lunch, ate a moldy bologna sandwhich, drank a cup of hot orange juice, and read a couple of newspapers. Then he went back to his jail cell, where Seven Year Old was hogging up the bunk-beds. There was a loud snoring sound coming from under the blanket. Gru guessed that Seven Year Old was taking a nap. Gru washed his face, and finished reading the magazine he had stolen from the magazine stand inside the jail. Then he woke up Seven Year Old and took the top bunk. Later that night, Gru heard a rumbling outside his jail-cell. He slid the blanket off and jumped down from the top bunk. Gru looked through the bars, an grinned as Bob, the yellow minion with one eye slipped out of the air vent. Bob grinned, and cheered, and his other freind, Mart, a purple crazed minion unlocked the door. Gru slipped out of the jailcell, but hesitated when he thought of Seven Year Old. Just then, Bob   jumped and down, and pointed down the hall. He looked very frightened. Gru heard distant footsteps. The Guards! They patrolled the hallway to make sure that no minions let out people from jailcells. Gru made up his mind, grabbed Seven Year Old, and escaped from the cell. They drove to Gru’s house in his rocket car, and had a party celebrating Gru’s escape from prison. And they lived happily ever after.

The Defenders

The all powerful master ninja has chosen you, and only you to guard the sacred sword of  ninjas at night. After everyone had gone to bed, you flop onto the uncomfortable wooden bench, and eat some ninja-noodles, a rip off of ramen-noodles. They taste good, but made you thirsty. Unfortunately, the nearest water-fountain in about twenty steps away. If your gone, the evil ninja could steal it while your away! But you get thirstier, so you race to the water-fountain, drink a gallon, run back, and find that the evil red ninja are in the act of stealing the sword! You act fast, throwing a couple of ninja stars at the ninjas. They go down, groaning and hacking, and you defeat the last of the ninjas. You retrieve the sword from an unconscious ninja who is groaning a moaning like a dying goat, and place it back in its rightful place in the light of the moon, on top of the granite pedestal. Suddenly, waves of evil ninjas stream from no where and try to snatch the sword, but you jump, hurl a bunch of ninja stars, and watch as twenty seven ninjas go down without a fight. You have to protect the sword at all costs. You eliminate all of the ninjas, and then the sun comes out! You are finished protecting the sword, and now its time for breakfast! After class you tell all of your ninja friends how you defeated one hundred sixty seven ninjas trying to steal the sword. They crowd around you and ask about each ninja you rendered unconcious. “If you don’t believe me, then go look in the courtyard!” you say. Ninja rush into the courtyard, trampling a couple poor janitors in the rush. They all run outside, and gasp at the pile of still unconcious evil ninjas. You become famous.

Play the game here!

Instructions:

Arrow keys to move, space to shoot ninja stars. Don’t touch or let the evil ninjas

take the sword!

//scratch.mit.edu/projects/embed/177711575/?autostart=false

The wild Sisi

There once lived a girl by the name of Sisi. She lived in the forest, where the only things she had to eat were raw or smoked grizzly bears, apples, oranges, and pears. There was a stream, and it was so cold, Sisi used it as a mini freezer. She could drink from it, but only if it was filtered with fine leaves and sticks. Then you could drink from it. Sisi had built a hut from palm tree leaves, Bamboo sticks, and mud. It was water proof, fire proof, and almost flood proof. Sisi was still working on that. The hut was about as big as a living room, a big living room, and had a chimney, a fence to keep out wild animals, and a room just for Sisi. It had a wooden dresser that Sisi had found down in the junkyard, about half a mile from here, a king sized bed, which Sisi also found in the junkyard. Today, Sisi was busy roasting a chicken that had sadly wandered into her gullutine, which chopped the head cleanly off. Sisi gutted the chicken, and the intestines to fish. She would put them in a plasic bag, which washed up on the land, and keep it cold in the stream. Then Sisi finished roasting the chicken, put  a little bit of hot sauce on it (a homemade version) and licked her lips. This would taste soo good.  Sisi bit into the chicken and fainted. The chicken was that good. After an hour or two, the chicken was gone, even the bone had been eaten. Siri killed some more wild animals and put them in grocery bags to freeze in the river. Then she went to sleep.

 

The next day, Sisi woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside her hut. She used her primitive bow and arrow and shot the birds down. Then she fried them on her skillet, a pot made out of rocks, and eat them for breakfast. Then Sisi plucked out the ziploc bags from the river containing the dead gutted animal meat, and defrosted them inthe sun. Then she made some mud out of clay, water, and dirt, and used it to make her house flood-proof finally. Whilst the mud dried on her hut, Sisi bathed in the cold stream, caught a couple of freshwater crabs, and drank a gallon of filtered water. Then she boiled the crabs, ate a secondary breakfast, and prepared lunch. Sisi then heard the whirring of a robot. She whirled arround, and came face to face with a martian explorere. Sisi screamed, and the robot dove for covered. It turns out, the robot was actually Sisi’s brother coming to visit her wildlife house. He came every week, to both supply supplies and give her a gallon of fresh bottled water, which had no plasticy taste. It could last for months, but Sisi prefered to drink her stream water. It was colder, more delcious, and best of all, came from-nature.

Fati-mal

 

Fati-mal,

Fatima was an animal. She had an eight pack, and could lift up one hundred and fifty pounds with only one hand. But, she was only a month year old. Fati-mal was known for her anger issues. If a person even crossed her path, Fati-mal would scream bloody murder, and lift the person up into the air. Then she would hurl the person across the room, and stomp them to death. Then the police would come, but Fati-mal would scare them away by swinging the dead person around, and then chase the police cars away. Fati-mal would then devour the person she killed, and gain a hundred pounds. She would then work it off at the gym, gobble up a person or two, and go home. Fati-mal would then roast a human head, smother it with mustard and ketchup, and swallow it. Later in the evening, the police would come knocking at her door, but Fati-mal would ignore them until they broke the door down. Then she would smash their heads in with a one-hundred-pound weight, and slice their heads off with her katana, a prize she got for fighting and killing (and shoving down her throat) a master ninja.  Then she would roast the dead bodies of the police, devour them, and then shower. Fati-mal didn’t want any blood on her bed. In the morning, Fati-mal would fry the frozen bodies of the police and drown them in ketchup. Then Fati-mal would savagely dig into the bodies them until there were only bones left. More police backups would come when they realized that cops that had arrived at Fati-mals house were killed by Fatimal, they would arrive at the door and try to surround her house, but Fatimal was too fierce, and would subdue all of them. Fatimal would drag them to her lair and freeze them until she was hungry. Then she would walk downtown with the military trailing behind her. Fatimal would realize that there was a tank following her, and kill everyone, including the tank. Then she would lug her kill all the way back to her house, hang them in her freezers, and walk back downtown. If a person even crossed her path, Fati-mal would scream bloody murder, and lift the person up into the air. Then she would hurl the person across the room, and stomp them to death. Fatimal did this to every human being that crossed her path. There would be a lot of funerals in the week. Cars were on fire, and Fatimal was walking right past them like nothing was happening. Fatimal would be arrested (again) and she would be escorted to jail.

Lil’ Billeh’s Revenge

Ever heard of “Billa the Bum”? Well, Billa had a son named Little Billeh, or Lil’ Billeh for short. Lil’ Billa was the complete opposite of genius, and if he ever needed to add one plus one, he would think it was purple. Lil’ Billa lived in the basement of the Empire State Building. Everyday, Lil’ Billeh would walked out, disguised as a homeless person, which he really was, people would feel sorry for him, and throw him money, and each day, he would earn a couple hundred dollars. Lil’ Billeh had amassed a fortune of just walking down the streets. People were tired of giving money to him, and they needed to get their revenge. But Lil’ Billeh had a lot of leverage. He had threatened to collapse  the Empire State Building, so people stopped mobbing him and gave him more money. Lil’ Billeh was so rich that Bill Gates was like a homeless old hag compared to Lil’ Billeh. Lil’ Billeh had some plumbers install a XXXXXXXtraLLLLLarge Jacuzzi in the basement of the Empire State Building. It was even bigger than an Olympic sized swimming pool. Billeh did laps in his pool, burning blubber and fat like nobodies business. Soon, the pool was filled with just sweat, and when Lil’ Billeh jumped in, sweat flooded the basement. One day, skinny Lil’ Billeh jumped into his pool, only to find that the sweat had been drained by the plumbers, who were tired of sweat flooding the basement of the empire state building. Lil’ Billeh tried to land on his feet, but he splattered against the bottom of the pool, shaking the whole basement of the Empire State Building. Huge tremors cracked the support beams that held up the massive building, and the Empire State Building collapsed, right on top of Lil’ Billeh. Five weeks later, the wreckage of the Empire State Building had been cleared, and his “Man Cave” had been looted of its five billion dollars.  Lil’ Billeh’s wish had come true, to one day destroy the Empire State Building, but his wish had taken his life with it.

Night of the Ninjas

Loto was trapped. He had mindlessly been wandering around in the Master’s Garden when the trapdoor opened up from beneath him. Loto had fell forty feet before he even realized to get out his rope. He unslung it from his backpack, and whirled it around. It flew up to the top of the trapdoor, and got caught in a palm trees roots. But the force of Loto’s weight snapped the thick rope in half. He fell the rest of the five feet and hit the ground, rolling out of the fall, not even breaking a single bone. He got up, and looked up at the trapdoor which was still swinging around. A fall like that could kill someone. Luckily, it hadn’t killed Loto, Loto shouted up for help, but it was the middle of the night, and everyone was asleep in the dormitories. Luckily, Loto always carried about a backpack full off crackers and beef jerky and water in situations like these. Lots pulled out a blanket, laid it out on the mossy, cold stone floor, and fell asleep. The next morning, Loto groggily got up from his makeshift bed, rolled it up, and ate ten crackers, and a strip of beef jerky. Then he realized that the wooden door in the corner of the well was open! Loto quckily ate the rest of his beef jerky, and slung the backpack over his back. He still had his bamboo training sword, so still you could put it over two bricks, jump on it, and it wouldn’t even bend down. Loto pulled out a ziplock bag filled with real ninja throwing stars. His only real weapon. He walked through the door, to find himself in an even darker chamber. It smelled rotten and musty. Suddenly, gas started pouring in from tiny holes in the wall.  Loto put his emergency gas mask on. (Loto never took chances) Immediately the air turned to a sweet smell, and Loto grinned. No one could outsmart him! Then, a cage fell from the roof, and entangled him in its rope walls. The gas mask fell off of his face, and he breathed in the gas. Loto slumped over, the death gas killing him. Other ninja could outsmart him after all. The other ninjas at the training camp probably wouldn’t even care.

THE END